No matter how consistently I lived within my envelope in the first two years I was ill with CFS, I would periodically find myself back in bed with symptoms that were so intense that I couldn’t do anything but pull the shades, climb into bed, and wait for a better day. 

These relapses, which usually lasted from one to three days, were greatly demoralizing as well as painful. They were so frequent and so devastating that I decided that I had to develop strategies to combat them. 

The first challenge was to determine what I could do to reduce the length and severity of my relapses. The number one answer was to rest. Staying in bed until I felt better was the quickest and surest was to improve. 

Stating that obvious truth to myself was helpful because it gave me permission to acknowledge that at times I was powerless over my illness and the best strategy was to give in to it. 
 

I also found that what I told myself during a relapse was important. Lying in bed for hours on end, many negative thoughts would swirl through my head, things like “you’ll never get better” or “you have no control over your illness.” 
 

Knowing that worry made relapses worse and that relaxing helped me recover, I learned to speak consolingly to myself, saying things like “you’ve recovered from all the other relapses, so just relax” or “you’ve been doing well lately, this is just a temporary interruption of your progress.” 

And I reasoned with myself, saying things like “all your previous setbacks have responded to rest, so this one will probably end too.” 
 

I also found talking to other people on the phone helpful. We didn’t even have to talk about my relapse or even about me; just having a sense of connection with another person was reassuring. Also, listening to someone else talk about themselves distracted me from my symptoms and worries.
 

I observed that often a relapse would have two parts. After resting for a day or two, I would feel somewhat better, but then the relapse would resume. Either I was too eager to return to my normal activity level or my body was giving me misleading signals about my recovery. 
 

In any case, the strategy I developed to avoid a double dip was to return to normal gradually rather than as soon as my symptoms disappeared. If I took more than my usual amount of rest for a day or two after I thought I was OK, I could avoid slipping back into a relapse. I motivated myself to take the extra rest by visualizing what I would feel like if I didn’t take the extra rest.

Another strategy I used to minimize relapses was to give in as soon as the first symptoms appeared. By doing this, I found I could stop a minor relapse in its tracks. I stumbled upon this strategy one day when I was cooking. After standing at the stove for 45 minutes, I suddenly felt tired and lightheaded. 

My first thought was: “If I can just work for another 10 minutes, I can finish this and then go rest.” But, remembering how many times such an approach had led to several hours’ rest, I decided to turn off the heat and lie down. After about 15 minutes, I felt OK and returned to finish the cooking. I needed no more rest during the remainder of the day. 

I was able to use this strategy many times, especially in combination with meditation. When I felt increased brain fog, for example, I found I could eliminate it if I could lie down and get into a deep relaxation for five or ten minutes.

(Adapted from RecoveryFromCFS)

See companion article How I Learned to Prevent Relapses.